I DID IT!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

I can not believe that I did it. I ran the St. Jude Half-Marathon race. I finished the course. I did it! It was the most mentally and physically challenging thing I have ever done.

To be completely honest, I didn't even know if I was going to run the race until 10 pm on Friday night. I kept going back and forth. I just did not want to go. I lost all motivation about 3 weeks ago. I was sick and then Jim was out of town so my training just stopped. I didn't enjoy running in the cold and I didn't enjoy getting up early and running. I hit a wall. It wasn't until the Monday before the race that I even got my running shoes out of the closet. I ran 3 miles on Monday and then 3 on Wednesday just in case I decided to run on Saturday.

Well, I got up Saturday morning and decided to go downtown Memphis. I knew that I would regret it if I did not go and at least attempt to run the race. My only goal was to run 9 miles without stopping since 8.6 was the farthest I ever ran during my training.

When I parked and walked to the start line the weather was 27 degrees and I was FREEZING. I was questioning why I was even out there. By the time the race started, my toes and fingers were completely frozen and I didn't know if they would thaw out during the race. The first two miles were intense because I was running with frozen feet. (not something I would advise anyone to ever try). Once I reached the third mile I started to warm up and defrost but I was still not happy about running this race. (I told you I have been in a funky mood lately)

It wasn't until the 4-5 miles that it all clicked. The course ran through the St. Jude Hospital grounds and a few of the kids and their families were outside. My eyes filled with tears and I almost stopped because I was so overwhelmed. I remembered that I could very easily be the parents to one of those children.

As I reached the ninth mile my knees started giving out on me. I could believe it. I began to pray asking God to help me make it to the 9 mile marker. I stopped for just a second to stretch my legs again and then I kept on running. I MADE IT! I crossed over the 9 mile marker then I decided I want to go to 10. "Can I make it to 10?"

I made it to 10, then 11. I must admit 11-13 were long, hard and painful. My knees, calves, ankles and feet started shutting down. They hurt so badly that they didn't hurt anymore. The pain was numbing. As I was getting closer I realized that every time I started thinking, "I can do this," my body would shut down but when I prayed and asked God to get me through one more mile I would make it. It was a journey!

"Just down the hill...you can see AutoZone Park!" This what I remember all of the fans saying as I approached the last half mile. I couldn't see it but I just believed what they were saying. They were cheering us on and I just kept on going. I knew I was so close. I just prayed that God would let me finish.

I entered AutoZone Park and turned the corner and I saw the FINISH line. I kept thinking "I am almost there." I crossed over it. I DID IT! I MADE IT! I RAN THE WHOLE WAY!I finished in 2 hours and 38 minutes.

God was so good to me to let me finish the race. He was with me the whole time and I know that I would not have made it without Him. It was an amazing experience, one that I am not eager to try again anytime soon.



This is the only picture that I have from the race. It was taken right after the race. Once I crossed the finish line they gave me the cover so that I would stay warm. I must say that it was still FREEZING cold after I finished. I was frozen again as I slowly walked back to the truck.

Happy Anniversary!

Another year has come and gone. It is truly amazing how quickly the past 7 years have come and gone. It was on this day 7 years ago that I said "I do" to the love of my life. The one who completes me. When I said those two words that day I imagined how wonderful our marriage would be and God continues to amaze me because it is so much better than I imagined.

The other day I was telling a neighbor that our anniversary was today and that we have been married 7 years, her response was "you have been busy." This is so true. In 7 years we have moved four times, have three children, one dog, one fish and one cat. The biggest blessing is that each year gets sweeter and sweeter or gooder and gooder depending on where you live.

Jim, you are my best encourager. You know me so well yet you love me anyway. Thanks for making family such a priority in our lives. Thank you for how you cherish me like I am the greatest gift God’s ever given you. I love you! I respect you! I need you!
Happy Anniversary!

Here we are 7 years ago today:

Carving Pumpkins and Fall Festival

I know this post is a little late.

This year we decided to do something fun in our house to welcome Fall. Since I don't like Fall, merely for the fact that Winter follows, I knew that I needed to have a positive approach and at least do some fun activities with my children.

This year we carved a pumpkin. Can you believe that my husband has NEVER carved a pumpkin in his whole life? I thought it was quite humorous when he told me that small fact.








This year our church Fall Festival was on October 25.

Jake wanted to be a monkey this year. He used Judd's outfit from last year. Judd decided to be a Georgia Football player this year. Last but not least. Baby girl was a Princess with Pigtails. The boys enjoyed to the festival. Anna Kate was really high maintenance. Jim and I were TIRED when we got home. She didn't want to stay in the stroller and she didn't want to walk WITH us when she was out. Needless to say, we were wiped.

Boys Ranch

Last Friday night we were invited to have dinner with a family that manages the ranch at the Double B Boys Ranch in Millington. It is a great ministry for that is "designed to build strong Christian character in youth from troubled family backgrounds." Our church partners with them in various ways through out the year.

Our kids and family thoroughly enjoyed our time on the ranch. We were able to tour the ranch and enjoy dinner with some of the boys. It is a great place.

Here are a few pictures from our time on the Boys Ranch.

Break Through Thursday

This morning Anna Kate woke up said "potty" and we sat on the potty and she WENT! No screaming, no crying! It was about 30 minutes later she said "potty" so I took her back and she went number 2. No screaming, no crying! All smiles and clapping hands!

As of Thursday night she has only had one accident today! I am counting it as a SUCCESS! We are almost there. Just a few more days!

Anna Kate Potty Training Day 2 and 3

Tuesday she woke up this morning with a wet diaper. I took her straight to the potty so that she could tinkle. No such luck...well here we go again.

1 full cup of milk+1 full cup of juice+fours hours of waiting+many trips to the potty=a crying baby tinkling on the potty.

When she woke up from her nap she went tinkle and number 2 without any problems. Way to Go Anna Kate.

I had some gals come over to help me decorate my dining room and within 15 minutes of them being here I have poop ALL over my playroom floor and she wet her pants. Dumb me to think I could get something done during the potty training boot camp.Friends over two mistakes in 15 minutes....

Wednesday was the hardest day. She would scream and holler the when I put her on the potty and she had to actually GO. Right before lunch she sat on the potty and screamed for at least 10 minutes and finally her body won and she had to eliminate the waste. It was not an enjoyable time for anyone in this house.

She also decided that she wasn't going to take a nap today. She was miserable. I finally went and got her out of her bed and she was so sad. She started telling me that her ear was hurting. Long story short, I took the boys to a friends house and took Anna Kate to the doctor. The poor baby has a severe ear infection. I think maybe that is why she has been an ill pill this week. Hopefully, with some Motrin and Augmentin we will be doing better tomorrow.

Anna Kate Potty Training

She turned 19 months old today so we started potty training. Of course, I am using the 7 days and $75 method once again.

"The general idea is parents stay at home with the child for several days and allow the child to walk around the house naked all day long. The potty is put out so it is constantly available to the child. Parents regularly remind the child to use the potty when necessary. Rosemond argues that children won't tolerate urine and feces running down their legs, and will quickly learn to go to the potty to avoid accidents. The $75 is for carpet cleaning."

She woke up this morning with a dirty diaper and we let her run free with her pajamas on. Her first trip to the potty she didn't go but she enjoyed sitting on the potty and reading books. I set the timer on the microwave for 20 minutes. When it beeped we ran to the bathroom. She sat and was not happy about staying on the potty again. Set the timer again...she went in her pants....timer beeped. Set timer....she wet all over the floor! She wet four time before her 2:00 nap time. However, she woke up dry from her nap. As soon as she woke up, I sat her on the potty and she tinkled. BUT she screamed the whole time. She wanted NO part of going on the potty. She then held her tinkle for 2 hours and THEN after much persuasion and a marshmallow she WENT!

This has been a very interesting day. I thought potty training girls was supposed to be easier. Yet, this has been so bizarre that she does not even want to go tinkle in the potty.

Lights are out and I am going to bed. I have to wake up and do this all over again.

It's Great to be a Gator Hater!

I KNOW! We got stomped tonight but it was still fun to be at the game!

Jim and I were given the awesome opportunity to go to the UGA vs FL game today with his parents. I love to go to UGA games and we don't get the chance now that we live in TN.

Actually we are in Florida because Jim was invited to preach at one of his good friend's church right outside of Jacksonville. It worked out perfectly for us to come this weekend.

Georgia did get beat but we were here to watch Tebow break the career rushing touchdowns record. Here are a couple of pictures that Jim took at that moment.




It was a great day!

Gentlemen Start Your Engines.....

Today Jim and Jake went to their first Nascar race. They had a good time. However, Jake did get a little tired of watching the cars so Jim took him to the kids play area for a short time. I think it helped that Cooper was there to keep him company. I can't believe that my boys are watching Nascar! This is a bit much.

Running through the Wait

My husband calls me crazy yet he is my biggest supporter. My mom wonders where I got the genes. My friends are encouraging or just think I am crazy also. Why?

If you would have asked me March 15, 2009 if I would have thought running was fun I would have called you CRAZY! I was only able to run for 5 minutes and walking for 2 minutes. I was completely exhausted after doing that for 20 minutes. My lungs hurt, my legs were tired and I just wasn't having fun. BUT, I had a goal. I wanted to be able to run in the Peachtree Road Race on July 4. I knew that only way I could run 6.2 miles on that day meant I was going to have to get up 4 times a week and RUN.

I can remember racing the 2 mile mark and feeling that I had accomplished so much. I can remember running my first 5k and finally experiencing the fun run. There is fun in running. It takes discipline, consistency, training and a good friend that will get up and run with you.

I am training to run in the St. Jude Half-Marathon on December 5. I have officially ran 7.1 miles and this Saturday I will run 8.1 miles. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea of running 13.1 miles but I am very excited about reaching this goal. I just wish it was not going to be so cold. I am a warm weather runner.

Since losing the baby, I made the decision to register and run the race. Initially, I registered with hopes that training would keep my mind focused on another goal instead being pregnant. I have experienced a couple of down moments/days in recent weeks. Mainly, sadness with not being pregnant especially since I would be feeling that little bundle kicking and moving. God is good and knows me better than I know myself. He has allowed me to be encouraged this week and my thoughts and understanding have been restored to a sense of joy. The half-marathon has given me a great goal and great fun during this time of waiting.

Hopefully, by 11:00 a.m. on Dec. 5 I will be the proud owner of this sticker:

Our Little Girl

Today my babygirl turns 18 months old. It is so hard to believe that we have gotten this far so quickly.

Anna Kate,

Today you turn 18 months old. You are a JOY! You bring so much joy to me and our family. I couldn't imagine not seeing your bright and shining face every morning. You are growing up too fast for me. You are no longer that 6lbs 15 oz baby that I first held 18 months ago. However, you do still have a need to be held by mommy or daddy most of the day...every day.

You are a talker. I mean, one serious talker. We thought Jake was a talker at this age, but you can talk circles around him. You say things that amaze me. It’s not just what you say but is HOW you say specific things. You say it sass and attitude that is so unbelievablely cute.

You love your brothers. You want to be everywhere the "boys" are all the time. If they go outside, you stand at the door and cry saying "outside, outside." You are a rough and tumble little girl always wrestling with the boys and trying to do exactly what they are doing.

Speaking of boys, there isn't a boy in the world that you love more than you daddy. He is the greatest and there is nothing like that look on your face when you are running to your Daddy's arms screaming, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy." One of your favorite things to do with Daddy is SING. He will sit you in his lap facing him and sing, Joy, Joy, Joy, Jesus Loves Me, or B-I-B-L-E. When he finishes you say "gin" for again, meaning you want him to sing again. If he starts to sing the wrong song, by that I mean not the one you want to hear, then you will continue to say gin gin until he sings the "right" song.

You have a fierce determination and you KNOW what you want and you are determined to get it. Since you can talk so well, you are able to communicate your needs and wants to everyone around. On the rare occasion, that you cannot communicate to us what you need or what you do have a flair for the dramatic and it is at that moment we just call you FEMALE.

This past week your favorite phrase is "no, no." Thanks to your brothers for teaching you how to say it on the way to Georgia. You are learning so much so quickly. "I some" (I want some),"I know" ( I don't know), wuv you (love you), be right back, dink peez, (drink please) are just a few of your favorite phrases.

You love to color, play with stickers, play-doh and pencils. You make homeschooling Jake difficult in so many ways. Like I mentioned earlier, I am always holding you and you want to be held while I am schooling Jake. I have finally decided to do school while you are napping.

You have become quite independent. Wanting to always feed yourself with a spoon and you must have a plate. But you don't want to play independently.

After writing all of this to you I still don't feel that I have adequately described your personality. It is so hard to put into words who YOU are: fun, energetic, sassy and sweet all wrapped up into one little girl. OUR LITTLE GIRL!

Anna Kate, you make my heart so full some days I think it might burst. You make me laugh, you make me happy, and sometimes you make me want to pull my hair out. This first 18 months has been an incredible journey and as we look forward to two I cannot even begin to imagine how much you will change and grow.

Behind

No, this isn't about my behind or anyone else's for that matter. As you can tell, I am really behind on my 365 project. I have the pictures but I just don't have the time to update them. It makes me sad and overwhelmed when I see how many days behind I really am at this point. Do you think I am too far behind to catch up? Hopefully, I will get motivated very soon and then I won't be behind any longer. How many times can I use the word behind in one post? Hopefully, my next post will not be discussing someone's behind. Have a great day!

Proverbs 29:17

Before Jim and I moved to Tennessee we bonded with a wonderful family. It didn’t take us long to realize the five children in that family were the wonderful, godly, pleasant, respectful, humble and just plain exceptional. Most of them were teenagers and they were all a joy to be around. Every time we would see one of them our faces would light up not to mention Jake’s. The one thing Jim and I always discussed each time we left their home or spent time with them was how much Jeff and HeiDee enjoyed and delighted in children.

We knew that we wanted our house to mirror what we saw in the Bieber home. Of course, we realized that most of what we say was the work of the Lord through them.

Jim and I started asking them lots of questions. How did you do this? How did you rear such wonderful, amazing, motivated, and self-sacrificing teenagers? As we got to know them better they became our “parenting mentors,” as a matter of fact we still call them or email when we have parenting questions. As a matter of fact, I think I need to dial their number right now.:-)

Throughout our many talks one of the things they consistently told us was, “If you work REALLY, REALLY, hard training, disciplining and being proactive when they are little then you can enjoy them when they are older.”

Well today I was reading Proverbs 29:17

“Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.”

I was so excited when I read this verse. Here is the advice that we were receiving written in the Word. It was just confirmation once again that the young years are very hard

When the days are long and the diapers pile high remember it is all worth it and this season will be gone very soon.

Today is a day that I must remember that I WILL miss this season of “constant need.” I want so badly to be a great mom and I feel that I fail each and everyday. I am thankful for the grace of God and beginning of new days. I pray that the Lord is sowing the seeds and pulling the weeds that I plant in my children’s hearts everyday.

This School Week

We have enjoyed another week of school. It has been a short week since it was Labor Day and we had a fun visit with my mom. She has not been hear since March so I was very happy to have her here for a few days.

We read and did activities with The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter. We had fun reading about this disobedient rabbit. We also learned the Letter B and C. Jake has not really enjoyed handwriting but he is learning and I am learning patience. I have pretty high expectations but I am realizing that he needs to build up to writing a whole page. Duh!

The boys painted a picture using water color since Beatrix Potter used watercolor in her original illustrations of Peter Rabbit. (Don't you just love the paint shirts. I have been using them since Jake was 15 months old. I love them and I never washed them. I plan to keep them forever.)


We start math assignments this week. I am excited to see how this week goes since it will be "normal." Whatever normal means in this home.

Thanks Mema for coming and helping us this weekend.

Joy Comes With The Morning

Weeping may tarry for the night, but JOY comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5
Joy is my word for the year. I have experienced great joy in 2009.

There was great joy in our hearts on the morning of July 21, 2009. The two positive lines meant we were going to have another baby. This precious one would complete our family, be our caboose, our number 4. I waited a few days and took another test to confirm that those two lines did indeed mean we would be welcoming a new bundle of joy into our family in 40 weeks.
We were so excited. We determined that we would wait until after the first ultrasound to tell our family and friends that way Jake could be the one to tell everyone.

However, it didn’t take very long for me to begin to think, “something wasn’t right.” I knew that I ALWAYS get sick at week 5. Being sick at week 5 has been a nonnegotiable symptom with each of my pregnancies, except for the miscarriage preceding Judd. I was extremely tired and hungry but not sick. I tried to find joy in the fact that maybe I wouldn’t get sick this time, but still deep down knowing that I needed and wanted to be sick.

On August 21, Jim and I went to the doctor for our first ultrasound and visit. In just a few minutes, we saw a blob on the screen and tiny heartbeat. Upon seeing the heartbeat, the list of all the concerns started:

1. The heartbeat was a little slow for a 7-week baby. (91 beats per minute)
2. The baby was measuring 6 weeks 3 days instead of 7 weeks 2 days.
3. I was experiencing sac separation.
4. I had two cysts on my ovaries.

We talked to the doctor and she expressed her concerns and we expressed ours since we had already lost one baby and I felt that this would end in the same way. We made an appointment to have a repeat ultrasound in one week. From that moment, Jim and I were just a little lost. We felt like we didn’t have any answers and answers were what we wanted from this the appointment since I “hadn’t felt right” this entire time. We just left with more questions.

For a week, we prayed that when we went back we would have very clear answers. I was very confused all week because I still felt tired and hungry. I didn’t understand why I had to feel this way if this baby was not going to live and then Thursday morning brought clarity. I woke Thursday morning with a confirmation in my spirit that the pregnancy had ended and that when we went back there would not be a heartbeat. I was not sick or tired all day. I felt completely “normal.” I was very emotional but also I rejoiced that the Lord allowed to me know and sense this before the ultrasound. I needed a day to “prepare” for the ultrasound.

On August 28, we went back for a follow-up ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed what we already knew. There was no heartbeat. This precious baby had gone into the arms of Jesus before us.

On August 31, I went to the hospital for outpatient surgery. Now we focus on the future, healing, and finding normal once again.

During this time and all the time:

• I find joy in the fact that this little one will never have to experience the tears and suffering of this world.
• I find joy in knowing that this baby is in the arms of Jesus.
• I find joy in three precious babies that God has entrusted to Jim and me.
• I find joy in suffering.
• I find joy in waiting.
• I find joy in knowing He is faithful.
• I find joy in knowing that the steps of a man are established by the Lord…
• I find joy in knowing that I have a God who saves.
• I find joy in Jesus.

First Week of School

Our first week of school started this week. We studied the letter A, read How to Make Apple Pie and See the World, apple painting, visited an apple orchard and made homemade apple pie. It was a busy week but a lot of fun. I am excited about this school year.

Jake sitting at our "school table."

Apple Painting

Anna Kate did not think apple painting was fun!

Apple Orchard Field Trip

My Morning

Good morning world...

Actually let me start around 1:00 yesterday afternoon.

I am sitting outside with Anna Kate reading the mail when Jake comes banging on the door..MOM!!!! Hurry Judd went to the bathroom on the floor. I take off running.

Poor Judd had been complaining that his belly hurt so I wasn't surprised to see that he didn't quite make it to the potty to "release his lunch." He was able to get his clothes off but didn't make it on top of the potty. He was very upset that he made a mess! I walk in the help him and clean up and I hear Jake behind me gagging. I tell him "go to your room, buddy." I didn't want him throwing up while I was cleaning Judd's mess.

Ok, back to this morning....

I am brushing my teeth. Judd came in my room and said, "Anna Kate went potty on the floor." I said "no she didn't she has a diaper on." Jake said OHHHH YESSSS SHE DID!" I am thinking, what are they talking about? I look at her and she has a diaper on and she is clean.??? hummmmmmm

Well, I tell the boys to go brush their teeth and I walk behind them to go check out Anna's mess. GUESS WHAT? I had forgotten to throw her dirty diaper away so she decided to open it up and dump it on the floor. I just start cleaning it up and all the sudden I hear gag, gag, splat. Yes, Jake threw up on the floor after seeing Anna Kate's dirtiness on the floor. At this moment, I just start laughing. Jake starts saying,"Why did that make me throw up?"

How has poop defined my life for the last two days?

School is in Session

This year we have decided to homeschool Jake for his pre-k year. He is very excited about learning and we decided that he was ready to begin some systematic instruction with him. We are partnering with a Veritas Classical Schools in the area. Our original plan was for him to go to class one day a week and homeschool the rest of the week. Our plans did not work out so well but we are receiving weekly lesson plans from his teacher so that helps me a lot.

Monday was out first day of school and we had a great time. Judd did a lot of the activities with us and I was very impressed with both of them. Today went well but Jake has been running a fever so we did not get to everything I had planned but that is ok.

I will update with pictures soon.

Vacation in Georgia

We first arrived in Georgia late July 2. The next day we had some good friends come to visit. Angie Kudlas brought her three kids to Jim's parents house to swim after lunch. It was fun to catch up and see all of her babies. Later that afternoon, Jason, Kelli, and Eli Sikes came to visit. We had dinner and they stayed the night.

I ran the Peachtree Road Race on July 4th.

30 Year Goal Updates

I am slowly marking things off of my list. I am excited to see so many lines crossed through. I am still trying to decorate the playroom, dining room, and the living room. This is a slow process. I just hope it is finished soon.


1. Memorize 24 verses (2 each month)
2. Run Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta on July 4th
3. Read the following books

• The Heavenly Man
• 90 Minutes in Heaven
• Disciples of a Godly Family
• There's Gotta Be MORE!
• Love and Respect
• Don't Make Me Count to Three
  
• One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven

5. Complete a Home Management Folder
6. Paint and Decorate the Playroom
7. Decorate the Living Room
8. Facilitate a Bible Study
10. Do a self-guided study through the Book of Proverbs